I'll Get Scared - One Shot 1 of 4
by ColdSideOfTheWorld
Summary: I know you'll come in the night like a thief But I've had some time alone to hold my lies inside me I know you think that I'm someone you can trust But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up - Jesus Christ by Brand New


_I'm sorry about the spelling mistakes, I couldn't look through this again without crying and I have school tomorrow so I figured it was best not to go puffy eyed to bed. If it's shit, you've been warned. __This one's for my auntie. I love you.  
__  
_"I know you'll come in the night like a thief  
But I've had some time alone to hold my lies inside me  
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust  
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up"  
- Jesus Christ, Brand New

Floor boards would gently creek as the door to the nursery let light pass into the dark room, she was watching her sleep, the child they both never expected. With her curly hair slightly shimmering in the light, her fist nuzzled up to her mouth, sleeping on her stomach.  
The woman watching her leaned against the door frame, just watching the little girl's body rise and fall as she slept, not aware of the world around her. The woman would envy the little one at times, being six years old, running around the house, not knowing left from right, still being able to be picked up in someone's arms and cradled from the world.

The figure watching her sleep moved slightly away, closing the door shut, her boyfriend was home, a wide shouldered man, with a chip on his shoulder and alcohol on his breath.  
She knew him best this way, angry and shouting at her to give the girl back, but she never listened and tonight was no different. He was a bit more sober tonight then other nights, rummaging through the fridge to find a beer, she walked into the kitchen grabbing one of the plates to put them in the dishwasher.

When he finally found a beer, he popped the cork open and put it to his lips draining the bottle of its content like he had never drank a liquid before. She gazed at him, he hated when she did that, the judgment clearly shown on her face. They would fight every night over this, but she wasn't up for it, not now.

-"Here" he passed her a beer, even bothered to open it for her, his kindness surprised her at times seeing he would rarely display any these days.  
The phone rang as she took the beer from him, none of them answered it instead they let it go directly to voicemail as they both stared at each other. She noticed the purple bruise around his eye and that he had a white bandage around his wrist.

-"Tommy, hi, it's Brendan, I know you said not to call, but, it's bad man, Pop's is in the hospital, I know we promised Tommy, but..please, just call me, alright or come down here yourself, if not for him, then for me" the message stopped playing as Tommy finished the rest of his beer leaving the empty bottle in the sink.

She put her hand on his heavy back when he walked passed her to get to the living room,  
-"Tommy, you have to talk to him"  
-"Please, Angie, not with this crap again" his accent was thick and annoyed, she pulled her hand away from his warm back staring down at her beer bottle.  
He didn't move for a long time, just stood there, she couldn't read off his body language when he locked himself away like this, all he knew was pain, so this was a shoe in for what came after: anger.

-"You gonna give Theresa back tomorrow" he asked, his shoulders tense and head cocked down, -"No, I was thinking I'd keep her around a little longer"  
Tommy sneered, -"We aint raising your sister's kid"  
-"I didn't fucking say that!" she hissed back in response, moving passed him, but he got a pretty hard grip around her wrist pulling her to him, now he was just pushing it, she hated him when he became like this and he damn well knew that.

-"Don't start with me, Tommy" she pulled at her hand trying to get away from his grip, he dragged her to him, grabbing both of her wrists so the beer bottle in her other hand slipped out and spilled all over the rug.  
-"You wanna keep her?" he asked, as she avoided his stare by arching her back away from him and glancing at the kitchen counter.

-"Look at my, Angie!"  
Her eyes met his, she was angry and he was strong, still not letting her out of his grip,  
-"After all of this, you think we could raise a fucking kid, you and I?"

The short woman tore herself away from hin backing up against the counter, -"If this is some goddamn punishment Tommy, you should be gunning for yourself" she charged out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

He reached her, in a couple of quick steps, yelling up the stairs, -"What the fuck is that suppose to mean, you stupid bitch?"  
Her small body ran down the stairs as she stood above him on the last step, finally feeling the higher standard of being above him, -"You're scare, Tommy, ever since you're father got sick, you've been back in the ring getting the shit beaten out of you, so you won't feel anything. Don't you fucking dare come here and call me names and judge me, at least I'm standing up for my family, you abandoned yours"

He stepped away from her, clearly showing restraint from her remark, but not for long, he was back in her face, eyes hooded, nose wrinkled and jaw clenched along with his fists,  
-"Protecting your niece from your junkie sister? Huh? You wanna show sweet little Tessa your scars when she gets older, tell her stories about how auntie Angie wanted to slit her own wrists so daddy would stop touching her. You got the balls to do that, Ang, huh?"

The slap across his face echoed and the tears streaming down hers face followed in him backing away from her, slamming a strong fist into the concrete of the wall. She walked down the last steps of the stairs going for Theresa's room, -"You know what Tommy, maybe I should take my fucked up family elsewhere so I don't interrupt you and your saint like alcoholic fucking up mess of a life"

He grabbed her again, pinning her up against the door of the nursery, breathing heavily into her lips, squeezing her wrist's to a point where he knew that it would leave a mark, -"Try and live without me Angie, I fucking dare you"

-"I don't need you Tommy, you know what you need, you need? You need your mommy to come here and fix everything, along with your daddy and that whole fucking goddamn picked fence idea in your screwed up fantasy" she yelled in his face trying to get away,  
-"Go on, fucking hit me, you weak little man, hit me, become your father, go on, someone's gotta take his fucking place now that he's dying!"

The words dropping around him made Tommy's eyes go blank; he stepped away from her as she realized that she took it too far. Angie moved herself away from the door, following him into the living room, -"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" crying after him, holding her hand in front of her mouth, -"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

Tommy pushed a lamp over in the living room, grabbing his jacket from the sofa, as she kept following him, -"Please don't leave, I'm sorry, Tommy, please stay, please, you're right, I'm nothing without you, I can't do this without you, please, I'm sorry" she yelled after him as he walked through the door and into the night, the crying made her body shake when she saw his back disappear around the corner.

Angie curled up on the sofa, after cleaning up the beer and changing into one of Tommy's old t-shirt's which still smelled of him, it was his navy draft shirt, it had his station number on the back and his name in the front "Thomas Conlon"

Her nerve's was shot, she was drinking a new beer, with her legs pushed up to her chest looking blankly at the lit TV screen, letting her glance fall over on the window next to the TV, making sure she saw him if he ever came back, they would fight, they fought all the time, but this was worse, she was worse.

As she fell asleep with the TV playing a couple of hours later the man she had been waiting for returned, his eyes were red and he closed the door gently behind him, taking off his jacked, sniffling as he walked passed her half cover body on the sofa.  
She peeked up from behind it, -"Tommy"

He wouldn't respond, not a word, she stood up, followed him upstairs to their bedroom,  
-"Tommy, I'm sorry, I was a bitch, I'm so sorry, I went too far, we should go visit your father" he shook his head, taking off his shoes by the bed, sitting down, taking off his pants, she kept her distance in the fear that he would snap at her again.

-"I love you, just, let's take Tessa with us to go see Paddy tomorrow"  
Tommy shook his head again, taking off his sweater letting it fall right next to his jeans, he had a wife beater on, which he took off as well, she saw his bare back, bruised and battered, he had been fighting more then he should, even with prior injuries.  
Angie walked herself to his side of the bed, sitting down next to him, he kept his head down, holding his hands together, she put her fingers over his clutched fingers, letting them slip in-between.

-"I can't give her back, Tommy, I know Theresa deserves better than me, but I just can't give her back to my sister, not when she's using, I can't let her grow up in the same way I did"  
He shook his head again, without a word, -"Do you want us to leave?" she asked him, he shook his head again, kept shaking his head until his shoulders started shaking and he let out a quiet sob which filled the room and Angie's eyes.

-"He's dead, Angelia, my dad died tonight" he looked up at her and she froze, looking at the broken man that was Tommy Conlon with his weeping eyes. She had never seen him cry before, but she cried with him, embracing him as he shook around her arms.

-"I'm so sorry" she cried into his naked shoulder, his arms moved her body closer to his so they were pressed together like his life depended on it.  
-"Jesus Christ" he cried harder into the fabric of her t-shirt, overtaking her small body until she felt his hulking deep in his chest. They didn't let each other go, she just stroked his hair as he kept holding her until his body quit shivering and the tears stopped.

Afterwards he lay on his back with Angie on her side looking at him, not letting her hand slip out of his which was resting on his chest.

She watched over him, the only way she knew how, he looked peaceful in his sleep and she thanked God and Patrick Conlon for bringing him to her, because he had saved her life more than once. -"I love you" he muttered to her as she pressed her face into his neck, breathing him in –"I love you too"


End file.
